“My Silver Springs, my blue green colours flashing”

My Silver Springs : glimpsing eternal consciousness, feeling freedom and alignment with the universe.

“You are joy, looking for a way to express. It’s not just that your purpose is joy; it is that you are joy. You are love and joy and freedom and clarity expressing. That’s who you are.”

― Esther Hicks

I am learning every day that we are all truly beautiful and unique, with our own loves and our own truths. I choose to celebrate that victory. I will follow that love that drowns me everyday, and is everywhere – Today is an opportunity to be thankful for this wonderful reality I am creating for myself and the people I choose to be in it – all those who inspire me, who listen to me, support me, and love me. I am grateful for that love. The song I want to share, (and want my beautiful friend Ryan to add to his playlist) is a Fleetwood Mac song that seems to resonate in my life all the time, I hear it echoing within me everywhere; and everyday I find more meaning, and connection in the poetry, and the artistry of this song. It is Stevie Nicks’ wistful and haunting fairy tale of love “Silver Springs” Painfully raw and truthful the silvery strings echo around a slide guitar, as the harmonies rise, and Stevie sings of her love for a man she knows will be forever with her.

The universe has visited me with this song many times; one moment of pure clarity was when I was journeying through Scotland with a man I love. September 2014. The car window was slightly ajar as we left the breathtaking and isolated beauty of Inveraray, on the shores of Loch Fyne. Cool, briny ocean mist flooded the through crack in the glass. A velvet green and navy ocean faced me behind the mountains. It was beautiful, demonic and mysterious, almost like a siren singing to sailor – the water was look as though it was made of glass, still, grey as a secret, as if frozen in time silently knowing the secrets of drowned men, mermaids, centuries of myths and legends, dragons, and monsters, the water it refracted and bent the sunlight across the rolling hills of heather that dwarfed us both. Scotland is so evocative; everything even the sweet pungent air was awakening silent memories within me, a feeling in my past, something about Ireland, about my childhood. It stirred a sense of innocence and purity – a connection to where we all came from. These memories I can’t place whisper to me to run, to dance in the mountains, cast spells and incantations, sing, make love in the rain, roll in the grass, swim in a vast glassy lock, make love in the water, get lost in the mountain mist and imagine. They tell me to follow my impulses. ‘They’ tell me to be free. It is here ‘Silver Springs’ truly found me.

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“You could be my silver springs

My blue green colours flashing,

I would be your only dream,

Your shining autumn, ocean crashing.”

IMG_1122Hearing this song as we drove though the dense heart of the Scottish highlands was an otherworldly experience. Her magnetic, haunting ethereal voice sings of with being separated from her love, and struggling to find the happiness that once existed between them – telling herself she is better without him, protecting her heart as she sees him with other people.

“Don’t say that she’s pretty. And did you say that she loves you?

Baby I don’t want to know.”

But she falls back into the gravity of their connection, unspoken, unsaid – time casts its spell, and she is unable to forget. Unable to forget her happiness. Unable to RESIST it, she follows the joy they shared, the
vivid colours, the passion, and the laughter. It lives in her every moment, and in every chord of this song, it is interwoven into the fabric of her being. She leaves the past behind and looks hopefully into her future, towards her blue green colours. The possibility of what will be, as she holds those moments of love and joy in her heart. She is asking the universe for what she desires. “You could be my Silver Spring, my blue green oceans crashing” We drove through the sandbanks. The Highlands are eternally romantic, untouched and wild, like a child’s heart, it inspires so much love within me. Fantasy melted into reality as the land dissolved into the blue treacle of the water. There is an endless juxtaposition between the beauty of life and the grip of death – Medieval castle ruins stand marooned, exiled, adrift on the locks – lifelessly fertile giving birth to cascades of flowers and vines, it is the earth reclaiming the stone. It is the landscape of supernatural fairy tales, of Guinevere and Rapunzel – dark, otherworldly, remote and ethereal I could hear the cry of birds the ripple across the water and on the wind.

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Beyond all this beauty we found ourselves far from the road. In the heart of the mountains of Glencoe, I found my ‘Silver Springs’ a place where I was truly happy, where I had clarity of vision, oneness and equanimity. I found alignment with the universe and what I had created with a man I love. We followed the path of a river and found a waterfall carved into the rock of a nearby mountain plunging into a pool of dark blue. The water invited us, we jumped and swam and played, skipping over the mouth of that roaring, foaming water – and plunging into the mouth 10711128_10152846553879772_110484281734352423_nof that water falling. Danger, beauty, awe, wonder and curiosity captivated me, pulling me into the gravity of every moment. He held me by that waterfall, his arms a whirlpool, spinning me around, his chest this deep, a dark lake nursing the drowned, his mouth an ocean I swam in – how I wanted to drown. We were alone with nature, in perfect harmony and connection with the beauty of the earth and the oneness of the universe. The cool spring mountain water on my skin and the open endless affirmative blue sky. My naked feet against the smooth rock, the earth felt soft beneath my toes – everything seemed to be unpolluted and kind, the rocks blushed and bloomed purple – I remember feeling wonder and respect for the blackness of that water, the force, and the purity of it as I swam;  and the gravity I felt being connected to the energy of world. I felt that distant stirring primal memory stirring within me, only stronger now; I felt the heat of its flame flickering in the darkness.

As I lay with my back against the rock, with the glassy foaming spring water surging past me, the open sky swallowed the rolling mountains, warmth and exhilaration flooded my body and I felt connected to a monumental force, more vast than anything I had experienced before, more peace, harmony and wonder than I had ever felt, it was vibrating in the halo of the sun streaming down through the river.

In the mist of this I realize now, that I glimpsed eternal consciousness. I had a power, the ultimate freedom to create my own experience and be completely within the moment. That is the essence of who we are, what is within the heart of a child – before we learned to integrate into society, before we accepted the picture others held of the way our life should unfold, before we forgot who we truly are. This was the memory stirring within me, and now I realize where I was with him – I was a living expression of who I truly am, no habits of thought or self-awareness to block me. I was free, connected and aligned with the universe. There we were laughing and loving in the cutch of nature, a creation so pure, cleansing and eternal. A feeling spontaneous, magical, an expression so true that will inspire me, and live in me forever. My blue, green colours flashing. My Silver Springs.

 

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 “Silver Springs” – by Stevie Nicks and performed by Fleetwood Mac

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